My Story

[putz1991]

Hi all

I am new to this group, but not to incontinence. I am just now seeking support with this issue as my wife of 11 years (who has been there since my incontinence began) left me a few weeks ago. I am now facing the challenge of dealing with life on my own, which I have never done before.

My background is that about 12 years or so ago, I started developing 'leaking issues' that were more of an annoyance than anything else at the time. For whatever reason (embarrassment etc.) I never had it checked out, even when it started getting a bit worse. Soon after this, I ended up loosing everything in life, my job, my girlfriend, my home etc, and with the stress I was going through, my incontinence got a lot worse and I started loosing control at night. I did go to the doctor and they couldn't find anything wrong and told me it was just stress. However, even after getting my life back together a year or two later, it did not improve.

I had become use to this and it was not really effecting me enough that I worried too much about it. I met my current wife and she accepted my condition and even as it worsened over the years, she was always okay with it. Fast forward to a few weeks ago when she up and left me and my condition worsened again. I started loosing complete control of my bladder during the day as well and was even having some bowel accidents at night. I went to my doctor about this and again the answer was stress. My worry is that this will not improve any, just like last time.

Here I am, 40 years old and facing a life of either solitude or how to deal with finding someone who can accept this about me. Only my current wife even knows in real life about my problems and I don't know how I would ever tell anyone else. I don't know how to deal with my depression to begin with, and adding this on top just isn't helping any at all.

So, that is me. I am just hoping to find some support from others who share similar stories and have learned how to make the best of life. Normally, I am a very optimistic person, but with everything life is handing me right now, I am having a hard time seeing anything to be optimistic about.